Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
