We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
