i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
