she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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