I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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