I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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