Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
operation harelip BJ is a go
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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