Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He? As in you personified your dick?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
