he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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