I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
God, I missed his penis.
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