My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
