I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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