so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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