fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
