how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
