FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
