Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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