Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
