on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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