We're facebook friends in real life
too bad you live with your parents still
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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