I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nutella sex= disaster
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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