You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
one might say we're banned from that church
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
