He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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