if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
