Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
