I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
