i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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