What a fucking waste of an outfit
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
