I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
