And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
