grandma shit on top of the toilet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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