I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
