I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
