People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
