I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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