He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
