You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
