his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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