He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
