so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
