I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
