How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
