I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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