Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
