Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
