Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
