I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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