wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
