Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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