I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
