I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
