she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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