Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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