you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
