Sponge bath it is.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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